Well, now that I actually have readers, I suppose I can ask this. I believe I would like to make a more concerted effort to meet members of the fairer sex. This is actually an idea I’ve toyed with in the past, but have never had the real desire to attempt it. Rejection, though seemingly harmless, is a powerful fear. Nonetheless, I will take you all up on the offer. I have been informed that for the quickest response, Craigslist is the most apt means of communication, and so that is where I will cast my rod, so to speak.
Below is my proposed ad:
As the title implies, I am new in town and, well, I’m just looking for a friend. I understand that most of these ads are looking for companionship of the, um, more carnal variety, which is not to say that I would be averse to the idea of a more intimate relationship, but that’s not my sole desire.
I want someone I can talk to, someone smart, witty, a woman not afraid to say what she means. I’m discovering new things every day, and it would mean the world to mean if some wonderful lady found it within herself to want to share in these moments with me. I have travelled, been to Antarctica even, and am currently struggling with childhood issues related to my father. I find it would be deceitful of me if I left this detail out.
I should also state that I am what some might refer to as “disfigured”. Of course, I believe I compensate for this with both my height (6’5″), as well as my build. I am immensely strong, so strong in fact that I once tore down a house with my bare hands. I used to have a temper, but I’ve been able to keep it under control. You will have nothing to fear when in my company!
But I am not so entirely defined by my physicality. I also possess a keen intellectual mind, and I am versed in all the classics of literature. I am as happy discussing Chaucer as I am the works of Lope de Vega. I promise that if you contact me, I will take you on a ride you shan’t soon forget! If you would wish to meet me, come to the The Berghoff on 17th West Adam Street, 9:00pm sharp.
What do you think, dear readers?