Friends, I must make a confession. You see, my ad did not, in fact go unheeded. In fact, I received several solicitations, several of which I decide to indulge in.
I know, I know, I said my ad had went unnoticed, but really, it was to cover up for the embarrassment that followed. My dates, it seems, have a tendency to…ah, expire during the course of our wooing of one another. I have no means of explaining it! One moment I’m making her laugh with a recounting of one of Chaucer’s more ribald tales and suddenly *BAM* dead on the table. It’s most distressing.
Now, apart from the troubling coincidence of this happening several times in a row, it doesn’t exactly bode well for me when people are literally dying in my presence, so I hope you don’t mind my little deception and don’t think less of me now.
Oh, and I’m nipping the “bored them to death” puns in the bud right now. No one could POSSIBLY be bored by Chaucer that much. I mean, c’mon.